Dreams, Dreams

I was just thinking this morning while getting ready that dreams are truly real, and really, if we believe in ourselves enough, we can do anything . I know, nothing new, you've heard it before. I guess I've always known this, but I don't think I've ever taken it as serious as I did when I woke up this morning. I don't know why it came to me, but I am taking it as a sign.

There's no reason why I can not have the things that I want in life as far as career, goals, and family goes. I think for the first time in a long time I am finally seeing that my dreams are possible. And yes, I should believe in myself a little more. It also helps that I have a great team of people behind me. Plus, history shows us that there are plenty of people back then and today who have done great things.

I'm just feeling inspired today. I have to keep my positive attitude up. It's a beautiful day in Northside. I was blessed to see another one. This day will not go to waste. It's time to go out and bring those dreams a little more closer to home.

30 Day Letter Challenge - Dear Crush...(Day 02)

Dear M,

When faced with the challenge of having to write a letter to my crush, I was stuck. I didn't know who to write this letter for, but then I thought: Who is someone I truly, genuinely like right now? Some one who stirs up those long lost middle school crush feelings in me. And of course you were the first person to pop into my head. It wasn't that hard after all.

I've only known you for a little over a year, but we both knew since the moment we met that there was an instant connection and chemistry between us. I still haven't figured out what it is about you. You still haven't figured me out either. Something tells me that it's a combination of natural attraction and simply the way we motivate and encourage each other to chase down our dreams. I support your music, and you support my poetry.

Most people wouldn't understand our relationship to each other. We both aren't prepared to jump into a relationship for reasons only you and I know. However, our friendship belongs to us. Only we understand what it all means, and to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. I learned a lot from you not only as friend, but also as a guy. Thank you for the lessons, for listening, and for encouraging me.

I got love for you. Always will.

Love,

Sunshine

Summer's calling...

Just want to share a few photos my friend Raddiff took on his recent trip to Wissahickon Creek here in Philly.

So beautiful...this place is definitely calling my name.

^ This is my favorite ^

I think I'm in love...

I've officially fallen in love with John Legend after watching last night's BET Awards where he received a humanitarian award. He received the award for his work through the Show Me Campaign to end poverty and reform education so that everyone child receives a quality education.

I love when people use their success and fame to put a spotlight on issues that affect our communities and world.

30 Day Letter Challenge - Dear Best Friend...(Day 01)

Dear J,

You are my oldest friend. We've been friends since you were 3 and I was 4 years old. I was the shy, chubby new girl on the block, and you were a wild and carefree little thing. Opposites from the very beginning. We've seen each other through a lot...a fire, a divorce, and so much more. And although we don't talk or hang out as much as we used to (you have your babies, and I have...me), I want you to know when I look back on the life that I lived so far, most of the happiest moments include you. Sometimes I wish you knew that you have a thriving spirit inside of you that will carry you through the darkest of nights. It has gotten you this far, so trust in it.

Like a sister, you are someone who I know will always be in my life no matter what, and just knowing that makes me smile. I'm here always.

Love,

"Vinissa"

Joy part 2

That's why they always say keep your head up.

You never know what you're going to miss.

A Challenge - 30 Letters, 30 Days

I've been following a lot of interesting blogs lately, but mostly "fat-shion" blogs that are dedicated to plus-size fashion and curvy girl image acceptance. Being a plus-size girl myself, its interesting and I must admit empowering to see a community of women unite and support one another through blogs that promote positive body image, self-esteem, and of course, fashion.

But...this blog isn't about plus-size fashion. I will save that for another day:) This blog is about a challenge that I notice a lot of bloggers are doing and that is the 30 Day Letter Challenge! Basically how it works is everyday for 30 days you write a letter to a different person/thing in your life. Basic, simple, and fun.

I want to do this challenge because (1) I thought it would be cool to see what I can come up with for each day, (2) I don't ever participate in blog challenges so I think this will be good for me - gives me something to blog about, (3) I'm thirsty for inspiration. I'm hoping (and praying) this challenge will pull me out of the drought.

Here are the recipients of the letters for each day:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

First letter to my best friend will be up tomorrow! If you're down for the challenge, I also encourage you to give it a go.

Anyways...Have a great, safe weekend everyone and I will leave you with this song by Adele called "Make You Feel My Love". I am OBSESSED with this song!

All it took was a photo...

All it took was a photo to make me realize that after all these years my bitterness has failed to settle inside of my heart. I must have pretended all of these years. All of these years....I resented you for this feeling of abandonment. I resented you for not feeling loved enough. Feelings are powerful and in full force when they are able to make me avoid any opportunity of ever seeing you again. I guess in my mind, you were already gone. But when I saw that photo, my heart knew better.

I always knew that eventually I would have to forgive. Its apart of a process. Its apart of the bigger picture that is my life. I allowed myself to be angry and hurt the years in between. I gave myself the right to be. But looking at that recent photo made me realize one thing. Time has passed so swiftly and there is so much that we both don't know. The new wrinkles on your face tell me that time has pasted...and it will never stop passing.

I thought about you on Sunday. I was wondering if you were thinking about us. I was wondering if you were thinking about the one who made that day special for you. Your first baby. We both wouldn't be what we are today if we didn't have each other. I made you a man, and you gave me my names....Vanessa...poet. And I realize I could quite possibly be the only thing you have ever done right in your life. For years I wanted you to know that. But I realize you already do.

All it took was a photo for me to know....we all have those things that make their way to haunt us every night. If you are like me (if I am like you), then you too are familiar with the feeling of dark walls closing in and being locked up with nothing to inhale but the stiff thoughts of regret that always lingers. I know you have regrets. If you are like me (if I am like you), you do. But from here on out, make it better and I promise to do the same. Because judging by the photo of you, time has passed swiftly since we have been apart. I feel that it is about that time that we enjoy it together. But you have to make that happen papa. Because I am like my mother. I won't make the first move. I'm leaving it up to you. My heart isn't bitter for you anymore. It never really was. So whenever you realize that time does not belong to us, that she is not here to stay, I will be here in the same place where you left me. Ready to love.

Book Signing Update!...con fotos!

Hello good people! Well, I know its been a while since my last blog post. To be honest I really don't have an excuse since I have been out of school since mid-May. However I go back mid-July, which means I will make it my duty to blog as much as possible before my brain goes back into school mode. Promise.

I just want to share a few photos from my book signing last month, which was a complete success by the way! I was really nervous about turn-out, but everything came along very well that night with the support of my family, friends, and the night's awesome host, YTG - fellow poet (I'm a lucky girl).

Anyway, I usually get really nervous before any show, but some reason I was really dreading having to speak and read at this event. I think the nerves were a combination of it being my first book signing event, and the fact that I would be reading in front of family and friends, some who have never seen me read before. However, I have to say that because of their presence, I actually felt really comfortable up there. I felt more at ease than usual :)It was definitely a night to remember! I remember having a much needed drink with my friends afterwards over at the bar area and feeling so...accomplished! I remember my friend Helen saying with a smile, "take it all in, sweetheart". And I remember trying really hard to take in the moment and the feeling, and part of me did. But the other part of me was ready to move along and take on more. I think the book signing was exactly what I needed to keep pushing along this crazy journey I got myself into. I'll keep pushing for myself, for Northside, and for every person who was there to support me and my poetry. More than ever, I am ready to do more and to be more.

So while I leave you all to prepare myself for my next "thing", I will leave you with a small glimpse of that special night...

Ps: As far as writing goes, things are looking a little....dry. Just a little bit. So I decided I'm going to pick up a few poetry books to read over the summer. Any suggestions??